The Story:

Con$umart has just opened in town!  Specializing in all sorts of cheap goods, this store has it all.  Strangely, it’s grand opening is just after dusk. A bunch of eager customers rush in once the doors open excited to shop.  Once inside panic sets in as they discover the back wall lined with coffins.  The lights go out, and screams of terror are heard as the eager beavers become vampire food.  Then the opening credits roll…

A group of four twenty-ish adults pack into a car and hit the road, heading to some sort of festival filled with burning, rape, music, overpriced merchandise and more. They never make it to their destination as they end up stranded in the Town of Fate,  a home to bloodthirsty vampires that are dumber than Forrest Gump after 12 beers.

Characters:

I felt the characters in Blood on the Highway were it’s strongest point.  All three of the companions have really different personalities.  There is Carrie; Sarah Michelle Gellar’s doppelganger, a girl who is in love with her boyfriend’s wallet and even refers to him as her bank during one scene! Bone; a hardened thug who likes punching things and killing vampires, and Carrie’s drunken rendezvous from the past.  Lastly there is Sam, a neurotic and whiny wuss that is completely pussy whipped by his “out of his league” girlfriend and forks over cash and gifts constantly to keep her. Later on a bunch of other characters are introduced, including Nicholas Brendon from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Tom Towles from Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer & The Borrower.  I didn’t find either really contributed a lot to the movie and are were here mainly as billing attraction and to fill seats.  The characters that are encountered at “The House of Chewsits” were so crude, and vulgar I found myself laughing constantly at their disgusting sexual references.

Gore/Special Effects:

There is some squirting blood, some dismemberment and a few skin ripping neck bites ala old school Fulci style.  Nothing overly gory, just the usual red corn syrup spray and facials, no intestines or any good squishy parts.  The effects were done decently enough, but nothing made me shocked or really surprised at how well it was pulled off.

Lasting Appeal:

The main area of appeal this movie has is the dialogue.  Lots of nasty one liners and sexual references throughout.  The dialogue is extremely low brow (think Troma), but I found it to be mostly witty and enjoyed it.  If you don’t like Troma films or hate toilet humor don’t even bother renting this movie, it’s going to disappoint from the beginning to the end.  However, if you delight in low budget, low brow schlockfests like so many horror fans do, Blood on the Highway is time well spent.  It’s got a higher budget than Troma films do, and the production values are apparent throughout.

Final Head Count:

I found most of my time with Blood on the Highway to be enjoyable.  The movie made me laugh a lot and I found it to be pretty good overall.  The gore and vampires could have been better and the story was pretty shitty, but c’mon it’s a low budget indy horror flick, what more can be expected?  Pop it in, leave your brain at the door and sit back and enjoy Porky’s with Vampires.