Piranha returns to the big screen, decades after the original release. Does this new instalment in the series have any bite? Find out in our Piranha 3D movie review.
The Story
Best described as a cross between ‘When Animals Attack’ and ‘Girls Gone Wild’ our story begins when an earthquake causes a fault to crack- opening a cave entrance to an underwater lake that for millions of years has been home to the original species of Piranha. The fish have taken to cannibalism to survive and now have an open menu of Spring Break party-goers conveniently situated directly above their once underwater tomb.
The Characters
The characters are comprised of town locals and the crazy spring break college crowd. The film closely follows Stephen R. McQueen’s character Jake Forester as he is offered a once in a lifetime opportunity to guide a porn studio’s boat to secluded water for a location shoot. Jerry O’ Connell is the man at the helm as a hilariously perverse fictional take on ‘Girls Gone Wild’ entrepeneur Joe Francis. He causes complications by inviting Jake’s best friend/crush Kelly, played by fresh to the genre Jessica Szohr, onto the boat to get drunk and have a threeway girl-on-girl casting session. While the group is diverted from the party the bodies begin piling up for Jake’s mother, and town Sherriff, Julie Forester and Deputy Fallon played by 2004 Dawn of the Dead’s Ving Rhames. More familiar faces round out the cast including the wet T-Shirt contest host Eli Roth, Richard Dreyfuss as a drunk fisherman, and the always over-the-top hilarious Christopher Lloyd as the town aquatic Zoologist. The rest, my friends, is pure eye candy. The ladies get hard bodied shirtless dudes, while us guys get some amazingly talented ladies wearing next to nothing in 3D!
Effects/Gore
Alexandre Aja claims to have used more blood in Piranha than what was used in any other movie in history. While I find this statement hard to believe (Dead Alive, anyone?) his assumption can’t be far off. The piranha attack is like an underwater tornado of razor sharp teeth literally decimating everyone in it’s path. The CG design of the fish looks very cartoonish, but fits the comic book mood and style of the film perfectly. Any way you can imagine a Piranha would kill someone is what you will probably see happen in this movie, it seems like a refreshingly exhaustive effort was taken in exploring the death scale. The movie’s gore and effects mostly feel right at home with 70’s and 80’s sleeze, and are sure to bring excitement to even the most experienced fans of the genre.
Lasting Appeal
I unfortunately haven’t had the opportunity to see Roger Corman’s (Master of penny budget sleeze) Piranha yet. So I really have nothing to compare this to, but I have seen Humanoids From the Deep and enough of Corman’s other efforts to safely say Aja managed to deliver a modern Cormanesque epic.
Final Headcount
I’ve seen both positive and negative reviews for Piranha 3D, but never any perfect reviews. Following James Cameron’s immature flaming of the movie I feel it is important that we, the fans, add our two cents to the issue. After all, we are the ones keeping the genre healthy by breathing life into it every day. So here it is, I can’t understand why Piranha 3D doesn’t have near-perfect scores across the board. Even though the 3D was post production and nothing spectacular, it still managed to add to the personal experience of the film. People who didn’t find what they were looking for in this movie, had no reason to be a part of the audience in the first place. I can’t even begin to fathom what more was expected stepping into a movie called Piranha 3D. I highly recommend the movie to any fans of the ‘grindhouse’ era of film. Piranha 3D is quite simply a modern take on trash cinema at it’s finest.
Mark: I completely agree with Godz. Piranha 3D delivered exactly what it promised. It was a fun monster movie with gratuitous nudity and violence throughout. I’m not sure what some of the reviewers were expecting going into this film either. It’s called Piranha people, it’s not going to be Citizen Kane or the Deer Hunter. After reading the editorial about how shitty the 3D was over at another online reviews site, I was expecting it to be terrible. All in all, post processed or not the 3D was above what I expected and did make the gore and boobaroobas jump off the screen. My cousin and I had a complete blast watching this flick it was a great time all around.
