The Story:
Originally intended as a T.V. series from the mind of Dean Koontz, Frankenstein (2004) takes place 200 years after the events of Mary Shelly’s internationally famous novel. Dr. Frankenstein has managed to keep both himself and his Monster alive using genetic experimentation throughout the years, leaving a corpse trail for modern Detective Carson O’ Conner (Parker Posey) and her partner Michael Sloan (Adam Goldberg) to investigate. Dean Koontz later turned his vision into a series of novels leaving behind only character names and a request to have his name removed of any association with the production. A wise choice, my friend.
The Characters:
With a production that was obviously plagued from the beginning, it’s hard to see if the actors are to blame for the wooden characters. The movie feels like a Frankenstein monster itself that was pieced back together with random parts that were available. This time around Dr. Fankenstein is seen trying to maintain his immortality while also trying to build the perfect bride to share an eternity with. The Monster is on a mission to expose the crimes of his creator to the detectives investigating, while another opposing detective played by Michael Madsen, is pregnant with a Frankenstein creature for some reason that I never really caught onto.
Effects/Gore:
The Monster looks sub-par at best. A few facial scars and missing bits of skin on his chest reveal electric charges in his chiseled man frame. This Frankenstein Monster was definitely picked for the ladies enjoyment and has to be the most uninspired rendition to date. Dr. Frankenstein has an exposed spine that’s never really explained, and we get to see his after-the-fact murder victims and their missing parts including a “Jesus heart” wrapped in a crown of thorns, I shit you not. Michael Madsen has a slightly grotesque swollen man-womb containing a creature which eventually makes an off-camera escape. A bath-tub-born bride also makes an appearance looking similar to a Giger character covered in slime.
Lasting Appeal:
It feels like it has some original and good things going for it, but the visuals feel as though they have been neutered for home audiences. Movies that should be good but aren’t are much worse than a straight bad movie. The only accomplishment lies in what the movie could be, if taken in a less serious direction.
Final Headcount:
It’s important for a movie to understand what it is, and this one had a serious identity crisis. It tried too hard to be a serious work of art when it had all the workings of B movie schlock causing it to come off as a low budget Frankenstein soap opera. Frankly (pun intended) the movie should never exist in this form. Dr. Frankenstein, I will gladly donate my eyes and ears to your cause if it keeps me from being forced to sit through this mangled concoction of near-diarrhea ever again, thanks buddy.
